I am glad you're in therapy.. have you considered cognitive therapy too? It can be excellent in teaching you ways to change your thinking pattern. I mean, you know already that you're pushing him away, you know that this is because of your background (which I am sorry to read about btw). It may be the solution to you to change your thinking pattern. It really helped me in a similar situation.

You know, worrying about someone leaving is pointless. IF they leave, they will leave with or without you worrying about it. So really, you're putting yourself through all these negative, hard emotions and thoughts for nothing.

However, pushing people away might increase the chances of them leaving. They may eventually tire of trying to make you feel better, tire of fighting with you and watching you switch off from them. And then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Please try your best to stop this from happening. One more thing - people are less likely to leave someone who is happy, fun to be with, loving, caring, reliable. So surely, as you love him and adore him, that is the better way to be? Try counting to ten next time you row, and remember that you want to be with this man, you don't really want to push him away. Perhaps that in time, will help alone and therapy will teach you some more.

Will be rooting for you.
Hugs