sometimes i wonder "what the heck did i do? what happened till it became this way?"
but i guess for some things in life, there aren't any answers.

frustrated. i want to get away from this pain. i want to run away from all this pain... but i shall try what my pdoc say to me "confront the pain. what shape is it in? is it somesort of an empty vacuum kind of pain? does it get worse with every beat... hold it dear to you. because it's a real feeling, and it's precious."

that being said, it's easier to run away from it... confronting it seems so tiring, and painful.