I recognise your feelings and behaviour totally, same issues for me.
It's hard enough to trust that I'm good, worthy and beautiful enough as a person. To trust that have these qualities in the eyes of someone else seems ever harder...

The fear of being left is so big, I rather push them away myself. But in the end, it will feel still the same, being rejected.

I have therapy too, individually. And recently a group emotion regulation therapy for BPD. I hope in time I can feel more possitive about myself and learn to cope with the intense emotions my fears give me.

I hope you can learn this too, keep investing in yourself.
Tc xoxoxo

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