Most clinics have more than one pdoc. Asking for a transfer can make all the difference in the world between stable and not stable. Seriously try melatonin see if that helps or an otc sleep aid. I know for me there's a very fine line between hypomania and psychosis if I'm awake to long. If you can call your local dhhr office or community action they usually have a list of mental health serivices along bus routes.

To remember that you'll have different responses to medication then your dad. It's possible that going off and on medication.ould have contributed to your dad's instability. By the way I'm not pushing you for or against medication. I would make a list of your most distressing symptoms and look at non medical ways to deal with them. there are several people on this board that have chosen the non medicated route.

Only when I started a mood/event/thought chart did I realize how much bp affected me. It maybe that you are being more introspective now with the dx. Than before so you feel like you worse. If you do want to try medication I would seriously consider taking it for atleast a month at the same time every day. Mood stabilizers generally atleast take a couple of days to kick in. May I ask why you decided to go to the clinic ? It sounds like you knew they'd suggest medication but you lost confidence in the prescriber. Remember meds are just a suggestion not a requirement in most cases.