Hey, guys! I just wanted to come back to say "Hi" and to update you on whats been going on in my life recently.

Well, for those of you who dont know me, i was here a lot between 2002 and 2003...

Well, for one, i quit cutting. When me and my boyfriend broke up, there was a situation between him and I that got our friends to be on my side... and he has previous issues with friends turning against him... so he went out and smoked pot for the first time. I still loved him... we went out for almost a year... and i had felt like id protected him from things like that with my influence and being Straightedge... and it hurt me so bad that he did that... it was the most unfathomable pain... and i realized that thats what i did to him everytime i cut. I could never see cutting as selfish because i didn't know the pain i caused... so, knowing that pain... i couldn't possibly do it again... because with this knowledge, it WOULD be selfish. Also, i realized... i am 18, i am an adult now... and this is not how adults should handle their problems... also... i made a lot of younger friends this year... being a senior in high school, the freshmen looked up to me... and so i wanted also, to be a good example. I have been cut-free since january.

Also, i found happiness and i found confidence... i escaped from every single one of the problems i had before with the realization that people love me. I had an OUTPOUR of support from EVERYONE when my boyfriend and i broke up... and that was one of the first stepping stones in getting myself back together.

Also, around the time we broke up... december and january... i had the most awful, nauseating anxiety... for the entirety of those two months... and i dropped 20 pounds... got down to 114 pounds (at 5'4") and i also used the confidence from being skinny to build myself back up to what i am now... and my life is so totally perfect right now.

I graduated from high school on friday... and am going on to college to major in music... i plan to get myself onto the Dean's List now that i can FINALLY focus!

I wish all of you well, and thank you for the support i got over the years.

~Julie

"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..."
~Gustav Havel - existentialist