Add this to the long list of reasons why I should never have a weapon near my bed.

3 times in the past year I have woken up in complete terror and physically fought an "intruder" in a not-fully-conscious state. The first time, the intruder was the fan. The second time, the intruder was the lamp. This last time, the intruder was either the dresser itself or near the dresser.

The fan is destroyed. The lamp is bent sideways. The dresser is doing just fine, but I have two smashed toes that are all swollen and black from kicking it. The stuff on top of the dresser, however, was flung about the entire bedroom.

I also cut myself when I punched the lamp.
So that's twice now where I've actually done damage to myself.

I can't find any pattern in all of this. There's no drugs or alcohol involved, other than the trazodone and small amount of alprazolam I take to help me fall asleep. I do have moderate sleep apnea and just got a dental device to help with that. I hate C-PAP, and I've had this type of thing occur while on C-PAP, though not as severe.

It doesn't seem to happen at any particular time of night. It can happen in the middle of the night, or like this last time, it happened about 30 minutes after I fell asleep.

The one thing that is constant is that I have the perception that an intruder is in the room, and I must disable him before he can strike. I can't describe what he looks like...just kind of an abstract human shape I guess, not recognizable or anything. For me, it's obvious that I feel as if it is a life or death situation, just by observing the tactics I have used after I fully awake. For instance, I grabbed the pillow and smashed it into the intruder's face (the lamp shade), in an attempt to smother him, and then I punched him in the throat, the lamp post. That's what did the damage and bent the post. And then I lowered the pillow and left hooked it in the face, the lamp shade. That's what cut open my hand. It's strange that I can remember those tactical details.

But this last one, with the dresser, I have no idea what I was trying to accomplish. I think that I was trying to smash the figure up against the dresser maybe, and then use what was on top of it to hurt him in some way. Regardless, it was my attempt to kick the intruder that woke me up fully, screaming and cursing because it hurt so bad. In reality, I kicked the bottom edge of the dresser. It's three days later and I still have a limp because I can't put much pressure on my toes.

This isn't an entirely new thing either. I've had the feelings of a figure approaching me before, and waking in terror. But I've always "come to" before actually engaging in combat.

Each time this happens, after I awake fully, I'm soaked in sweat, breathing frantically, and just in a state of shock. It's embarrassing too. "Why are you limping?" ...um I dropped a wrench on my foot.

But my biggest fear is:
Imagine if this were to happen and one of my children walked into the room, or my wife walks into the room after using the bathroom in the middle of the night...and I awoke and mistook one of them for being an intruder. THAT is what worries me. Damage to objects and damage to myself can be repaired, but damage to loved ones cannot.

I'm hoping that the sleep apnea is the primary cause of this and that the new dental device will let me get into a deeper sleep and that this problem will just go away.

Otherwise, what can I do? As far as I know, there's no drug I can take that will prevent this from happening.