Perna, Thank you, I really enjoyed that post of yours. It gave me some healthy ideas to think about : )

This is my first post on a forum ever. I have been struggling with my weight for very many years and with an eating disorder gone chronic for the last four. Ive been in 12 step recovery a lot but am now out of that.

Im really struggling with food and with my feelings. In fact things are a lot better than they were binge-wise but its stil very painful. Im too overweight at the moment (actually, not imaginary!). I put on weight so fast last year that it gave me a heart problem. Im 28 years old! I need to lose the weight ...the doctor told me i seriously need to get it off ...but its immensely difficult. Sometimes i do very well for a month or so but then i always slide back into bingeing and put it all back on.

Ive just realised i am actually really depressed and i need to do something about that. Im very very irritable...loads of moodswings, rage, lots or crying which i cant stop. I chose Wolf as my name becuase i really feel like i am a Lady Werewolf. I never really thought of myself as depressed before but i can see it now. I think there may well be something phsyically wrong....like some kind of hormonal stuff going on, and im sure that all the messing around with sugar is not good either.

I think that i behave very harmfully because i just can't bear my feelings. They are too intense. So it comes out....either i bite someones head off, or i cry innapropriately...or i binge until im really sick. Then i put on weight and then i can't stand being in my swelling body...so i binge some more to drown out the feelings.

I know that i need more help than i am in a position to get right now. I am living in China, in a city where i cant get the support i probably need. I will go back to England in about 6 months, i dearly dearly want to do WHATEVER i can to help myself so that i dont have to give in and go back earlier becuase of some kind of crisis. Becuase i have an amazing life here....theres so much wonderfulness around me. Its a very special opportunity to experience life here. It would be a huge loss if ihad to give all this up too soon.

But im frightened at the moment. I feel like there is no safety in the universe.

Oh. Perhaps i am sounding a bit crazy, i dont know. Perhaps that doesnt matter here...i dont know! I feel embarrassed talking like this into the unknown.

Well...Hello anyway!

Wolf.

(p.s. im sorry- to the person who started this thread by asking for any tips...i didnt really say anything very useful in this post! All i can say right now is - i feel pretty lost too now. But im sending you lots of good wishes for peace and comfort.)