Things I Hate:
1) My weight. My face makes me look fat, as my chin has a tendency to go double, despite the fact I probably weigh the same as the other girls in my grade. My sister has no qualms with calling me names.
2) When I can't cry and really want to, like when L died, so it feels like I'll burst with all that I'm feeling. It's literally painful because I can't get the release I need.
3) When I can't stop crying and really want to, like when someone yells at me.
4) My eyes. Super-duper dark brown, so you can't see any detail. So boring. All my friends have interesting eyes with entire landscapes in them. So beautiful, but not mine.
5) Procrastinator, guilty as charged.
6) Difficulty accepting failure.
7) Difficulty accepting change.
8) Difficulty communicating, at the very least with my dad.
9) Inability to control myself when I'm in an environment where I thrive. People don't seem to like it when I'm excited, eager, or happy and believe I'm arrogant/inconsiderate/annoying if I'm in a school setting.
10) The fact that I immediately am compulsed to believe that any person nearby that is crying is trying to manipulate me.
Things I Like:
1) My voice is okay. Friends and the occasional classmate compliment me. Also related, I have the greatest evil laugh in existence and am often cued by my friends to have an especially humorous effect.
2) I am loyal.
3) My hair dries in ringlets. A friend loves playing with my hair and braiding it.
4) I respond quickly to situations and respond with a cool demeanor.
5) My friends. Simply fantastic.
6) My writing is okay.
7) "Gifted", or whatever the hell that means. I've met many cool and understanding teachers through the program in my district.
8)I have long eyelashes.
9) I can love fictional characters with all my heart, which brings me great joy and comfort when I'm going through rough times.
10) My imagination can literally take me anywhere; though this is sometimes a double-edged sword, I try my best to keep it on the exciting/happy/exhilarating end of the spectrum... except when I'm feeling exceptionally low, then I fantasize some really bad things that just make me worse.
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"There's a strange sort of quiet when you're dying. It's as if you're in a glass room, and the walls keep getting thicker and thicker." ~Gabrielle Zevin
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