I don't know if this helps, but I'm still regarded as "funny, crazy, outgoing, and loud"---and creative on top of all of that---despite being on four different psych meds for bipolar disorder. IOW, I'm still me, only a little better controlled.

There are so many times I wish I'd been diagnosed at your age.....I might have had a much easier life and not made so many stupid decisions if I'd known I had BP and been medicated for it. As it is, I wasn't dx'ed till age 53, and by that time it had damaged my brain to the point where I have permanent short-term memory loss, and other cognitive issues which are fairly mild, but embarrassing for someone who's only in her mid-50s.

Try not to worry too much about meds altering your personality; you may notice some flattening of your emotions, and for most of us that's a GOOD thing. But bipolar medications aren't meant to take away your essence; if they do, that's a sign you're taking too much or taking the wrong kind.

The first year or so after diagnosis, you're probably going to be tried on different types in order to find the right "cocktail", or combination of drugs that controls your symptoms without making you dopey or weird. If you're lucky, you'll be able to manage with only one or two meds; many of us need 4 or even more.

At 21, it's true that you have a ways to go before you know who you really are and what you're all about. And 'freaking out' once in a while is normal even for people twice your age, bipolar or not.

Please don't make the mistake of believing your whole life is over because you've been given a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Yes, it IS hard to accept---it took me over a year---but it doesn't have to define you, now or ever.

Welcome to PC! I hope you find plenty of support here.