That is considered--he took advantage of you. It doesn't matter if you were drunk, passed out, or alert and awake. He especially took advantage of you being passed out from the alcohol. Even though after all this time you may not have really realized what happened and are just now coming to understand what took place, it has definitely affected you. It is something that has happened and you sort of "learned" that bad things happen to you, which is why these things repeatedly seem to happen. Some of it may be conscious, some subconscious. You don't have to know that it's a bad thing . You already described that you are just noticing a pattern and are now thinking that it's abuse. It is abuse/assault. Consider couneling/therapy if you haven't already. Reading and posting here on the forurms may help in addition. Many of us have been through this and can offer you a great support and insight. You've taken a good step already and noticed what has happened to you, and are now talking about it. Keep it up! Therapy will help you understand more about yourself and how this past has affected you. I say past because by getting help, you will change your future to one of better relationships and a happier all-over self.