Quote:
Originally Posted by patchwork5
Good luck. I had similar issues with my girlfriend and her kids, and eventually they got worked out. Trust is a good word to invoke here; if any of his adult kids can trump his prior commitments at any time, then his word isn't actually worth anything, is it? For the kid's part, they're not spoiled if he can afford them, and if they take no gracefully. I gather you've never seen that part  but asking-not-demanding is a promising sign.
If the two of you are going forward, I'm glad  but yes, I don't think that's behavior you should put up with. |
I agree..asking and demanding are different..but the parent can politiely say no when necessary...saying yes everytime can also lead kids to false hopes in the 'real world'..While one day he says he understands..another he falls back..so this might take awhile to work through...Anyone w/children of course makes them first priority but having the other half in your relationship pushed aside everytime is not good..I've been speaking w/a therapist as well and she believes he has some deep codependcy issues which is where the can't say 'no' to the kids come in. My kids didn't ask for a lot as teens because they knew I couldn't afford it and I said no many times...they wouldn't think to do something like his adult daughter did..Its a fine line because you don't want to tell someone how to parent, yet now I'm part of his life I think I should be considered in some of those decisions because its effecting me/our relationship as well.