Grand Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: US
Posts: 1,708
2,018 hugs given
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Jun 15, 2013 at 08:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
Here is a link to a quick test if anyone is interested.
Attachment Style
I do not believe people consciously choose attachment styles or to be attached at all or not attached.
Both the woman I see and the test indicate I may be a tad dismissive/avoidant. It may or may not be true, but either way I don't see it as a problem and until the woman explains how it would relate to why I chose to see a therapist, I have no reason to go along with any of her plans to get me to change it. If it is not bothering a client or related to why they sought a therapist, then it is not a problem, in my opinion.
A book written by Muller, trauma and the avoidant client - does have the guy expressing dismay that avoidant clients don't act enough like they love the therapist or therapy and how that can be so upsetting to those guys. I am pretty certain it was this guy (it was him or David Wallin - attachment in psychotherapy) who also got all wadded up when a client asked him questions at the first appointment -"it was like she was interviewing me for a job" - which of course she was and rightly so. So I take him with quite a bit of salt.
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My style came up as "fearful-avoidant" ... So not sure how to change that. I told my T once that I just feel like I'm damaged and that's it. He quickly came in and said not damaged - injured. I don't really see the difference right now. I don't think there's any way to truly fix this problem for me. Once you find yourself in a pattern of being burned over and over, why would you go and put yourself out there again? I think it's inviting more pain and maybe I'm crazy for trying once more with my new T /:
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