Bless your heart ! I know how you feel. The ending of a marriage CAN be a huge relief, but it can be terrifying at the same time.

I ended my marriage of 26 years, and I have never been more relieved in my life, but I was also terrified !!! I had NEVER been alone before -- never. I married right out of high school - and I wasn't even pregnant. LOL It was a terrible marriage from the start, but being Catholic I stuck with it. Then we had 2 kids, so I stayed for the kids. I waited until the youngest was 18 before I divorced him - yes, even Catholic, I divorced.

Like you, I'm my worst enemy too. But therapy helped that immensely! We DO have to learn to love ourselves. If we don't love OURSELVES we can't love anyone else!! And getting on the "pity pot" is a bad habit - we always have to remember that there are others who are much worse off than we are.

Can you get into therapy? I'm sure it would help you. Why not give it a try? It was the best gift I ever gave myself. I hope you are able to get into therapy too!

I wish you the very best my friend. God bless you and please take care! Hugs, Lee