Hi Kala ~ Instead of books, I think a better way of coping would be to get into therapy. I don't really think self-help would be a good way to go for you. Your issues are pretty serious. and I do believe you need a good therapist.

There's nothing wrong with therapy. I've been in therapy twice in my life, and believe me, it turned my life around. The first time, I was so sick I ended up in a mental hospital and I saw my psychiatrist daily as well as having group therapy. After I got out I stayed with that psychiatrist for a year or so. I did well after that. Then years later, I had a "relapse" and saw a psychologist, who was awesome -- and I saw her for several months and she basically gave me back my self-esteem and my "power."

Therapy can do awesome things, Kala and I strongly recommend it for you. Your issues are just too serious for any self-help books. Please find a good therapist, or ask your doctor to recommend one for you. I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee