I always cringe when I recall some of the embarrassing situations that accompanied past manic episodes. I avoid large family reunions because it hurts to be treated as the black sheep in the family. Bipolar Disorder has dealt a severe blow to my self esteem. I try to fight the hurt and embarrassment by focusing on developing myself...doing regular things that others without BP do, going after my dreams. It's what takes my mind off those bad memories and makes me feel worthwhile. I am also thankful for the support structure I do have.