I do think we can change our attachment style, but I didn't say it was easy. For me it has taken a decade of 2-3x week analysis. Much of the work though was done with my current analyst, so in the past 4-5 years. The work is intensive, and I do lots of self-analysis outside of sessions so I'm always working on these things, but it is making a difference so worth it completely.

The residue of old attachment styles will be there, like I said, and come up when we are stressed or distressed or otherwise triggered. And they can come up unconsciously, but that doesn't mean you can't work on them.

It's not a matter of what you know; that doesn't by itself change anything. It's working with another person on these knots and untying them through lots of contact and practice.