I understand and I am sorry. It is a terrible kind of pain. The best thing for you to do right now is focus on yourself and only do things that make you feel better. Start listening to motivational pod casts, good music, videos, movies, etc.. and only do it for yourself, not to prove to her that you are doing better. Once you get your energy back up you will start attracting/allowing more positive things in your life perhaps even one day a new beautiful girlfriend that will love you unconditionally. It is out there and it will come to you but you have to love yourself first, give yourself time with these things and don't force it.

I know it is a real battle not to self hate. I slip all the time but don't allow yourself to give up. Tomorrow brings new and exciting opportunities if today is not your best, ride it out. Baths REALLY help to calm the mind if you are in a great deal of pain.