Random today? Oh yes please.

This morning I woke up at 9am with the intent of going to Target. That was ****ing IT. Unfortunately, I also have a 2 year old. So we finally get there at 11am. (And I didn't get to straighten my obnoxiously frizzy/wavy hair so I looked a literal mess. But I gave about zero f***s.)

Get to Target. There's a Starbucks inside (hence the cold coffee I'm currently drinking.) so I get a coffee and my daughter gets an apple juice and I'm under the assumption that this magical juice box of awesome is going to satiate her long enough so that I can run and get the 15 items I need. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

No. Let me just say. No. Two minutes in she wants to walk. She can't be like one of those other nice quiet children that sit patiently in the cart while their equally calm, cool, collected parents push them around and they go about their shopping as if they're having a perfectly amazing, nice little Saturday. Of course not. (My two year old has inherited my mood swings... I'm SO looking forward to the teenage years.)

So she wants to walk. Then she wants to sit in the front of the cart. Then she wants to sit in the back of the cart. Then she wants to walk again. AND OMG THE GIANT WALL OF BOUNCY BALLS!!!! LET'S STAND HERE FOR FIVE ****ING MINUTES WHILE I DECIDE WHAT COLOR I WANT!!!

Soon she's kicking the giant green ball she selected down the aisles. Running after it yelling "COME BACK BALL!!!" So I take it away. Crying ensues. My hair is getting frizzier and I'm losing any shred of patience that I may have walked into the store with.

An hour later... and several of the 15 items I came for had been forgotten. But **** it. It was too late to turn back. We're leaving... like now.

So we get back and have a minor conniption when deciding what children's show we want to watch on Netflix is FAR too big of a decision. I mean, you can't go into these things too lightly you know.

She will send me to the hospital some day. Of this I am sure.

****, she's awake.