Hello, I have a problem. I have this great therapist. I know what you will say.
doesn't sound all that great.
but "hir' really is high rapport with me. but as things move forward and
i get closer and closer to a resolution, 'hir' is being judgmental about
saying I should not be 'more ' machevillean" which I said I should so
I am not such a chump, punk for everyone.
'T" has told me I need to work for a win win with my ma by 'giving in first and offering something.' like a nice person.
and "T" is insisting i get back on the RX meds. or that I already know
all I need know.
or that I am too down on myself and filter out all the compliments to myself from myself and compliments from others, especially mom too.

I am tired of being a 'chump' for everyone, every time they decide to get
tuff and play rough i fold to *keep the peace* or have no idea how to counter them at all and I am like a deer caught in the headlights.
With my mom and former bosses who were abusive, I had that same history,
being debated and argued with and it are right or 'Sandee" is wrong
so I don't know ever really winning a battle. (with ma or boss or co-worker).
I few times have gotten apologies on anything that mattered and when I did
it was just a way to lull me into a false sense of security so I could be
taken advantage of again.
and as far as the compliments, I have done so many very amazing and cool things but no one (except for a few people) has ever given me any notice on those things
and those things that they do comlpiment, they are no in a place to
say anything. Like a stranger at class telling me I am doing a great
job at work when they have never seen me at work or barely know what I do.
THIS is the way it is with my "T"; who says I am good at stuff but has never
put eyes on it.
I feel I am good, nay, know it, but I don't have people in my life, brother,
Ma, or step dad complimenting the things "I CARE ABOUT"!!!

I get compliments about stuff people 'don't put eyes on' because they do not know that part of my life, or they compliment me 'doing dishes' or cleaning the
cabin' or ' my shoes' , 'my pants' , ' my suit' but when I
build an awesome shack from sticks that should have been burnt as kindling,
or made a bird house as a child, or a cool necklace or pull a lost item from
the frozen lake without my getting wet and not using a boat, it all goes without
more than a 'how did you do that?" in a monotone. and that question is
labeled as a compliment by the speaker.

I want more, and my "T" seems to think I am being unreasonable.

What can I do to insist and demand on what I want from life? and get it.?

Sandee