((((Murray))))),
I just wrote something really similar to this elsewhere. I hear you

T,
When is it okay to wave the white flag and accept defeat? I can't continue like this, it is not therapeutical for me to hold all of this and be overwhelmed. I don't want to email you and get the execution boundary. I almost don't care anymore, I am so tired of fighting. Just commit me and let them drug me to the point of no return. My progress ends in defeat.