I'm sorry that you didn't get a supportive reaction from your friend. Unfortunately not everyone can understand It definitely isn't an easy thing to overcome. Most people turn to SH when their other coping mechanisms fail - when you become stressed again the urges start again if it 'worked' last time to help you through the moment.

As hard as it is, try not to hate yourself. As I said, it is a coping mechanism. It may not be as healthy as others but it is a way of coping and it can be overcome in time as you learn new ways to manage stressful situations.

I understand how hard it can be to trust people with this, especially after the negative reaction, but not everyone will react that way. You shouldn't have to face this alone. Even if you rely on the forum for a while - there are always supportive people here who know what it is like.

Hang in there and take it one day at a time. Try to use distraction techniques when the emotions and urges get hard to manage and talk to people when you can. It won't always have to be like this.