With therapy, you have to get all the crap off, the encrustations, barnacles, etc. before you can even see where the problems actually are, where the hull is leaking, how big the problem is, etc. It sounds like you have gotten a lot of crap off and are seeing some of the problems and sizing up the work of fixing them, repainting, etc. but you are losing heart?

I was in therapy a total of 30-some years of my life (I'm 62). I did not start a good relationship until I was around 35 and did not get married until I was three weeks from my 39th birthday. But even figuring out that little bit after starting on the right road when I was 27/28, it took therapy started when I as 46 to really get things fixed and get my life the way it "should" have been and I would not trade anything now for how I have lived my life so far; it has made me, Me, and I wouldn't trade Me for anyone