There do seem to be two basic suicidal modes just as you describe. One is impulsive and one more "philosophical" or detached. Of course that detachment can be like a dissociation, not letting the emotion be felt. The only way to break through that is through human contact I think or some kind of breakthrough on one's own.

Since I've been on both sides, both in that mode and also a suicide prevention hotline worker, I understand what it's like. I can only say the obvious. Suicide is not undoable. It's permanent. And it affects a lot of people in very negative ways. People who know others who have died this way are 40 times at greater risk themselves for depression or even suicide.

I think it might be good to call one of these hotlines and talk more about it. They are so used to talking about suicide that it wouldn't be hard to be open. It's anonymous and free. Plus you can call as many times as you want. People will understand; they have been trained and have experience so it might be helpful.