I know exactly what you mean, Mast, about the sense that it's too late. I'm in a similar place.

The problem with losing years to dysfunction is you never get those back.

Why can't therapy be time travel as well? What would anyone give for the ability to take stuff you know now or that you feel/understand now, and apply it earlier in life?

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P.S. your progress is an inspiration, at least to me. Good luck with the rest of the journey.