I adore your honsety! I suspect most people feel what you describe, they are just not able to share or express that feeling. We, humans, need validation from others. It is part of survival itself.

The problem comes when we do not feel validation ( safety in a pack ) we go into an internal fight/flight/freeze state. This can manifest in numerous ways such as fighting others to prove worthiness to be included in the group, or flght from the group in a hope that someone will miss them and come assist by bringing them back into the pack. Both have the same goal of being validated by the group.

One of my toughest lessons in life was to learn how to see the validation of others in ways i may not have seen before. It may not be direct validation, but it is just as real and valid. For example, just the act of living in a comunity depends on the group. Someone needs to be the police. Someone needs to make food. Make a list of how many different types of people validate your life because they do what they do for the whole. Unless they start putting out a sign at the grocery stores saying everyone except you can shop there, you are validated.

The second thing that helped me was being able to start self-validation. Almost everyone wants to be acknowledge for the special gifts they bring to the table. The secret on this is to start finding ways to celebrate the gifts of others first.

Being able to verbalize the positive aspects of others teaches us how to celebrate our own gifts.