So I am new here...I have been seeing my current T since January. I have been pushing away feelings of attraction with my female therapist...I am female (and think I am heterosexual).

Anyway, some stuff came up with some stuff I was working on about a memory from middle school when I was in a relationship with another girl. It has never been outside of my head since the experience in middle school.

Anyway, I have only briefly mentioned this experience in with my T -- and confirmed with her that it was indeed a physical relationship. And that I feel a lot of shame about it (I am a Christian - with a Christian counselor - and these kinds of things are not ok - sinful blah blah blah). Anyway...there have been times I have questioned my sexuality -- feeling attracted to other women.

Remembering this experience -- it is intensifying the attraction I am feeling toward my T. I am feeling desires that i didn't know were there...or possible for me.

I understand that transference issues are real...and common. I don't think I could ever discuss with her the level of attraction I am feeling...I feel like I am stalking her in a sense...I found her FB page...I go to see if she's updated status, to see her picture...I even saved her picture to my computer. I have her voicemails saved. Her emails saved. I feel like I'm starting to obsess. Fantasies...in our last session...I just kept thinking about how beautiful/sexy she is...I wished she would touch me...even just touch my hand. Even just thinking of this...it's arousing me...

I don't know what to do...it just seems so complicated...and I am so confused.

Any suggestions/feedback...I feel like I am going crazy...