VengerBoi,

I can hear the heaviness in your heart and mine is aching for you because of it. 6 years is a long time - a lifetime when it is a love relationship.

Whatever may happen, please do not stop loving her. Loving her was not wrong...

In my last relationship, I had an epiphany at the moment my boyfriend told me it was over (although we had both known for quite some time that this moment was coming - it was a matter of who would make the first move).

As he was saying to me: "I don't love you anymore," I realized at that very instant that just because he no longer felt the same about me, it did not change how I felt about him. I truly loved him (maybe not as I once did) and just because the relationship was over did not mean I had to change how I felt toward him.

I did let him go with as much grace as possible (new girlfriend got involved - got a little ugly). I never regretted hanging onto that love I had for him, and in some ways, I believe it actually helped me to accept things and move on faster than what I had experienced in previous relationship breakdowns.

I always thought I had to let go of the love that I had felt along with the person, but that is simply not so. Though the person was gone, the memories I have of him now are looked upon with a certain fondness and peace. He was a good man and I am glad that I can still see that.

I had never had that type of experience before, and I felt like I had matured immensely because of the way I chose to accept that reality.

I know there are no words that could be said that will lessen your pain.

Do know though, that your time spent together was not all a waste, nor was the love you expressed, for that matter.

Altered State

I cannot help but feel a partial responsibility for how you are feeling. My intent was not to push you toward a breakup (if, indeed, that happens), but to offer insight into some general behaviours that are made manifest through jealousy.