i posted this somewhere else well part of it .
i do not think its where i should really post it, since its not all about my therapist .
my husband is going to jai for 3 months, he was just at rehab for 4 mths... he is getting pvd for leaving state to go to rehab,,, i think its stuid theres nothing i can do.. i am going to his hearing tomorrow hoping and praying the judge just lets him come home.. i miss him so much.. i feel so distant and have so much anger towards him because he has left me and his daughter for so long. i am distancing myself from him, i he goes or 3 more mths its going to get worse.
i am in therapy and feel like i have no relationship with my therapist,, no attachment and no feelings.. the only feelings i have is if i leave her i will feel bad for her because she thinks we are making progress. .i don't know if my feelings in therapy is because i am distancing from my husband so i am distancing my therapy,,, but i really need to wok on my issues before he comes back home. but i mean, i am just cold towards my therapist.
idk what to do..
i mean i have a thing for male therapist too.. old ones, not as my therapist as a sexual partner.. no strings attached. just sex.. i am scared that i am so depressed and vunerable if i run into another situation with another male therapist i am going to mess up and be unfaithful.. i feel so lonely and i cant stand it much longer.. i feel alienated from my husband and i am tired of sitting at home with no one to cook for.. i mean my kids.. but i mean like a man, no one to talk to at night, no one to have sex with, no one to have adult convos with (my parent and siblings but its not the same) i just feel like a widow of my own emptiness and i feel like my husband is never coming back... and when he does i am going to be overwhelmed... if i don't have a relationship with my therapist how i am going to deal with this??