The cheating, the lies about you taking drugs, the refusal to talk about the cheating and help you find some peace. Well, I have no idea how he has the cheek to expect you to lie back and be willing....

... well, while I hate to be rude about your fella, is he either really selfish or plain old clueless? A lot of people are effected in the bedroom by emotional issues and it's pretty horrible that he either doesn't get this or care. Quite frankly he should be kissing the ground you are walking on for taking him back after all this, well, if not that he most certainly should be doing a lot to regain your trust. Talking about the affair is a start if you need it and putting his own desires behind yours. Not demanding sex is another. And basically, treating you with the respect you deserve and hasn't yet shown you. I wonder why you are letting him do this to you?

Hugs.