well the last relationship I had was a severe attachment on both parts and she was female and it ended badly for both of us, now we are both conflicted with feelings for eachother and its to late to fix them.. and feel like we both lost a part of ourselves due to boundry issues.. I try to express myself to others that I know people may want this type of caring relationship from there therapist, but if they care to much it will effect you treatment and the therapist personally.. which leads to not having that person as your therapist and find myself very upset to know my therapist personally was not like she was when she was my "therapist" and hurts deeply.
that's why I have issues with my therapist now. I mean I don't feel like I can trust her... but attachment may have to happen to resolve this.. for the life of me I tried... and I do trust her to be attached to her.. she reassured me she will not do the other things the other therapist did.. but for the life of me I can not! it frustrates me..
when my husband is home its easy to toss these feelings aside and feel occupied with our relationship. right now I think to much.
thankfully I kinda cut myself off from the last therapist thanks to this site I got advice from someone and took it.. the feelings are starting to leave me I had for her.. but the feelings left for my new therapist is very very cold.. like nothing is there to feel with her. and honestly I want to feel something.. I used to have a problem with cutting and these feelings uset to be the reason I did it to feel some sense of "feeling alive" .. I learned that is not an option anymore thankfully.. but I just want to feel something with her to feel like I am here.. I am alive.. I can feel for someone besides my last therapist and feel something from someone.. because those feelings for my husband are starting to fade away.
and maybe you are right about maybe this is an opportunity to make our relationship better when he comes home.. time to deal with my problems and make me a better person for him, to help him want to keep sober.. instead of being so angry when he comes home. I guess it can go two ways.. we either like the new people we both become or we don't.. nothing I feel like I can do and it scares me to the core of me.