Hi otulissa,

I went through very similar things as what you described a couple years back, more details on how I got there can be found in my recent introduction post. But, I while heartedly feel you on the fear part, and if it is going to last forever, and the other common thoughts with that. For me it was 'Why do I feel...off?' Like you just know you're not experiencing stuff the way you did before; part of you tries to ignore it but it doesn't go away quite; part of you dwells on it and tries to work through what's going on.

In my case, I tried to ignore it for the better part if a year, hoping and trying different things like exercising, quitting smoking for a while, eating well; though I just couldn't shake that 'surreality' I felt. After having to quit a job I held across the country and moving back home, I realized this was bigger than me and my friends (who knew nothing of what I was going through), and decided to seek professional help and counseling.

I'm really glad you are seeing someone. There are no guarantees on anything; but in my case I found help in counseling and prescriptions for Zoloft and lamictal. And after these years, I have returned to be very much who I used to, not without the occasional vivd memories and anxiety here and there, but overall I found in my exp the more I open myself to talking things over with a person trained in the field, the better I get overall.

There's hope! It can be scary many times, or most of the time, but just remember there's people who love ya and people who can help you (and this forum, which I've found to be so helpful). Just wanted to let ya know you can keep your chin up, you're doing exactly the right thing in going about figuring out what's going on.