It's never too late. I truly believe that.

I've spent a lot of time kicking myself for opportunities missed. But I'm starting to see that all of those things were just not right for me at the time. The mistakes I made are mostly the result of good intentions, but not having the tools to do differently. I'm 54 and I have hope that the rest of my life will be better than it's been.

I think it's true that things in therapy get worse before they get better. We see how bad things are before we learn how to do differently. My T told me that many people leave therapy at that point, because it just seems so overwhelming.

Trust your therapist to be able to get you through any changes. I think you have a good connection with him. Tell him what you said here. He'll help you through. Really, he will. It may have to wait till after his break, but hang in there, Apt. Come here and vent or PM me or others to get support. You can do it. I know you can.