I've decided that the way to make progress is to put the touchy-feely stuff on hold and use my awesome powers of analysis.

So I have made a list of Madame T's crimes and my reactions to them.

My feelings have been "abandoned", "betrayed", cheated", "rejected" and "trapped". All except "trapped" are clearly part of the abandonment spectrum.

Madame T was constantly triggering my abandonment issues but after nearly ten years she's still done nothing to resolve them.

The plan now is to take this list to Mr T and see what he can suggest.