My Support Forums - View Single Post

CantExplain · Jun 16, 2013 at 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ultramar

but after nearly ten years she's still done nothing to resolve them.

"She?" Just flipping this around here, but these things do need to be resolved together, no therapist can resolve this for you (though maybe this is just a question of semantics).

So if your perception is that you're being abandoned, then that needs to be brought up with the therapist -ideally in the moment-, your perception/emotional reaction can be checked against the therapist's take on what happened, and so on. If these 'check-ins' about your fears don't happen, then I can see how things could spiral, but it is up to you to talk about it before coming to a definitive conclusion, to give it a chance to be worked out; she can't do that for you.

Did this kind of communication about these feelings in the moment (or soon after) not happen in your therapy? Because someone has 'triggered' your abandonment fears, doesn't mean they 'caused' them per se. Was this not talked about?

Maybe she wasn't the person to best help you to resolve this -hopefully the current therapist is.

This post annoys me.
If I could solve this stuff by myself, I wouldn't be in therapy.
I think it is fair to expect the therapist to have some kind of specialist skills.