Dear T...

I am feeling so confused lately. I want to tell you how I feel, but I am so afraid of rejection because my whole life has been filled with rejection. I am feeling an intense attraction to you, and I realize it's probably just transference, but I don't know what to do about it or how to talk to you about it.

I know that I am needy...too needy I'm sure...but I do need you. Even more than just the attraction I feel to you...I need you to care about me. To encourage me. To be there for me. To accept me. I need you to not ever leave me, but I know that you're only here for a while, and I am trying to be ok with that.

It was so hard for me to ask you to see you more often, and when we established parameters around it -- being that to get me to a place of not cutting -- it actually makes me want to cut more because I want to keep seeing you more often.

I also need for you to tell me that I am ok as I am without me telling you that I need to hear it. I need you to tell me that I am beautiful and acceptable as I am -- that I don't need to lose weight like every other professional has told me that it's ok, and that I should. I need you to tell me that I am lovable as I am.

Sometimes...I need you to read my mind...