I'm getting good at using my own experiences and "I" words but often I don't listen to what the other person is saying, asking, has written and just go off on my own tangent, wherever what the person said "grabs" me as a result of whatever button their words pushed.

My T and I talked a bit in therapy about "interest in" and "curiosity about" the other person; in order to listen well to another you have to want to pay attention and "get" what they're saying rather than just have your turn with your story or idea. Anybody got some ideas on how to remember to stay focused on the other person and what they "want" to express/get across instead of slipping automatically into thoughts of how what they are saying impacts me and what I have to say and my expression of my wonderfulness to the world?

I think my husband has helped me some; he often use to cry out, "You're supposed to be on my side!" because he'd complain about something and I'd try to explain to him why the other person did what they did when what he actually wanted was for me to just listen and acknowledge his confusion and feeling that other people don't always make sense. I have trouble with him sometimes because if he doesn't understand something, he "quits" and waits until the thing/person he doesn't understand makes itself/themselves more clear to him. He doesn't give hints about what he doesn't understand, merely says "I don't understand" and stops! Very challenging