Last evening a close friend and I were talking about therapy. I told my friend that I hate it when I have nothing to say during my session...how uncomfortable it is. My friend said maybe there is a reason that I have nothing to say....maybe it is because I don't need to be there anymore. I thought about it for a minute then pretty much dismissed it.
Today I pondered my friends comments some more. Sometimes it feels like I am okay and that I don't need that outside support. Then there are the times where I feel so alone, so disheartened, and wishing that I could go to therapy twice a week.
It is like a roller coaster....being concerned about T abandoning me or not caring enough
to me keeping really busy either around the house or with my social life to where I just don't know if I need therapy. And yes, I have thought that perhaps keeping extra busy is a way to avoid dealing with sh**.
My T wants ME to initiate the session, to lead.,,,that is freaking hard when I'm having difficulty going deep inside to get to the root of my challenges.
I dunno.....just some thoughts.....