I do not think you are selfish...all your feelings are very valid. Selfish is hiding a kid for 5 months. I'm sorry you fell for this guy...i think you deserve better but you know best what you want in life. Gotta weigh the good and the bad. I was in a similar situation..my heart is broken. But i had to see the reality of my situation. I feel for you cause i know exactly how you feel. Remember you are not selfish. You have needs and you have as much right to having those needs met.