Dear T,

Honestly I hate my life. I don't want to be here anymore. I smile all the time to keep the bad things away. I know you will never know this and it's my fault and I'm ok with it. I just go in case H tries to use my mental health in court and you can give me my letter but other than that I realize I can't share the bad stuff with you. I can't. 6 months is a long time...too long, i'm just trying to survive. None of the changes I've made have made me feel any better...they make things worse. I don't understand where this is going at all. You want me to believe i'm a worthwhile person when my whole freakin life has been so full of crap. How am i supposed to change my thinking when reality tells me the opposite? I wonder what you really think about me..i really do.