Sometimes falling for someone and loving them just isn't enough to accept their past and get over resentment. He has this whole thing going on and in the middle is some innocent kid. You're ignoring the fact that he exists to get through the day to day, but what happens in the future? Go forward 10-15 years and the kid may just want to get to know his father. How are you going to ignore that? You can't and you shouldn't.

I think it's time to be honest with yourself. You haven't accepted his past is part of him yet, so whats the likelyhood if it happening now? I can't help you accept him, only you have that in you - or not as the case may be. I actually think both you and your boyfriend are not really taking this on board. His comment about his own son is very much of a concern. You know, not accepting it is your choice and it doesn't mean it's a bad one for you - we all have our ideals and deal-breakers. There's no wrong or right in this, but not accepting it and bringing your own resentment into the relationship, perhaps on an innocent child, well, that's not a good move.

And this is not healthy. If you think that your child will not be special or exciting because it's his second means to me that you probably shouldn't have one with this man. Every single child should be special, every single one without exception.. That's a much healthier attitude and will be the best environment to grow up in.

I do wish you all the best with this hard situation.