I have a new therapist (today was my 2nd session), who is not only unwilling to prescribe me a new AD, but also tried to intimidate me by threatening to make a call and send me to a psych hospital
The AD that he had prescribed had the side effects of strong headaches, constant nausea, dizziness, burning skin, agitation, extreme anxiety..My sleep problem became even worse than it already was and my anxiety was so bad that I couldn't leave my room. I started to feel very depressed from not being able to be productive, so I stopped taking it.
I explained to him that, while I realize that I have to give an AD time to take effect, I do have a limit of side-effects I can endure. If a med makes me so sick that I can't even leave my room for a few days then I would rather not take it.
He replied that I don't know anything about side effects and meds and should trust him, because the med apparently worked for all his patients. He didn't want to hear about how depressed I felt or how much I tried to go outside despite the side effects. I often have the impression that mental health patients don't get taken seriously at all. Just because I suffer from anxiety and depression does not mean that I can't make an objective assessment of a situation. Now I have to give it a try again with this AD and try to take it for a week or two.
At the same time, I asked him about therapy (especially cognitive methods to deal with anxiety) but he refused to do anything today, because I hadn't taken my AD. I felt like a schoolchild being punished for doing something against the rules. I'm supposed to get help.. He doesn't seem to be the most open-minded or flexible person either.
His idea of treatment is to 1) assure me that nothing will happen if i have a pa and 2) send me outside for self exposure therapy. I have been self exposing myself for the past years and he knows that. Nevertheless he won't think of any other way to help. I asked if he could come with me to places but he wasn't happy about that idea. (In the end he agreed if it was a place in 5 min distance) Even though he is certified in CBT he doesn't want to do it with me; at least not anytime soon. I came up with different approaches he could use but he hadn't heard of some and he said he didn't believe in others. He also told me I'm too 'active' and I shouldn't read psychology books because they would 'confuse' me.
The therapist also tried to forbid me to go to other specialists, despite the fact that going there seemed to have had a positive effect. (I'm talking about natural therapists and medical professionals who deal with my physical issues) He wants me to quit seeing these professionals, because he felt violated when I also saw others. When I told him I was able to sleep with the help of a naturapoathic therapy he said it's only a placebo effect. When I showed him my medical results he just said that they aren't THAT bad. I'm so exhausted from this session
Was it really rude form me to tell him I want to continue seeing other therapists? Also, I don't find it very professional when a therapist applies a black or white thinking (either my way or no way). I thought we are both supposed to work together in finding a solution for me. This (in my view) involves trying out different meds until we find a good one and also using each session to learn some new techniques. I pay for one hour sessions and today he kicked me out after 40 mins.
Sorry for this long post. I think I need to cool down