Thanks, everybody. I won't try to reply individually, but I really appreciate each and every individual answer.

I will not quit therapy. Not unless and until the day comes when I feel I'm ready to do so, that is, and that day is nowhere in sight yet. I know that my T isn't at all concerned with how slowly things move for me. I have asked him about this, and he replied that he would definitely let me know if he felt that we were not getting anywhere. And I know a year isn't that long, really, but it's hard not to beat myself up for not having come further along. In any case I'm not bailing.

As for change... it's the hardest thing of all, isn't it. Internal change is possible, I know that, even though I'm not so good at performing it. Change can be frightening, but I am working on that. External changes, however, are more difficult. I've put myself in certain situations because of my maladaptive behaviour; if my thought and feeling patterns improve, the situations will still be the same. (Also known as Making one's bed and Lying on it.)

But maybe the insight and clarity and, perhaps, even the courage will come eventually, with more work in therapy. We shall see. I'll have to put things on hold over summer, somehow.

Thanks again.