Quote:
Originally Posted by RoseBee
The child support is a HUGE issue for me. Granted, it would be a bigger issue if he didn't pay it. The problem I have with it lies in the fact that the kid's mom worked until the support got upped. Now she doesn't work and supports the same lifestyle as when she did. That's what I find irritating because I know it isn't all going to the kid. It is also an issue to me that when we have a kid, I will pretty much be sole support of it due to the amount he pays on the one he already has.
I don't want a child until I am married to avoid a messy situation like this. We have talked about marriage and he's asked me once, but I don't want to say yes until I know I can accept this part of him. As I've said before, I will leave if I can't, but I HAVE to know that I've tried. Creating this profile and posting on here is not to whine or be flamed for not viewing children as special, it's to get perspective from someone who has no ties to this situation, hear personal stories of people who have been in similar situations, and get advice. If this doesn't help, then I am going to therapy.
Thank you for your views. They were a big help.
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You're welcome. I have a friend who got involved with a man who had a child (she did know about it), and the child's mother did the exact same thing. She also played this little game where she would take the child to doctors that weren't covered my his medical insurance and then send him a stack of medical bills a month before Christmas. They have 2 other children now and have been married for 7 years but it STILL frustrates her, and I can see why...I get the sense that she feels like SHE is paying for someone else's mistake, and in a sense she is, because he pays an enormous amount of child support to this woman who refuses to even get a part time job and that takes away from her family in more ways than one...she can't be home with her own children as much because she puts in extra hours at her own job. That is a frustrating situation to have to deal with.