Quote:
Originally Posted by iota
The best way to stop someone who is not following the rules of civil discourse (and might be a bully) is to confront them on the spot and allow the community to see it so they can also respond.
Private messaging only exposes you to more without any protection. And if you hit a spot, it can become much worse because of defensive attacking that happens in private so there is no way to feel safe about it.
In groups, there are things called "process time" where when something disrupts the balance, you take time out to process what is going on and then return to the discussion at hand. This is a tried and true method for dealing with problems in a mature and responsible way that is fair to everyone and restores civility and safety.
|
one problem with this is that we have many different locations, cultures, religions.... that means even defining what is considered to be "rules of civil discourse" is different for everyone...
example
america is a free country. what that means is the constitution gives us the right to say what ever we want to. (freedom of speech) which means there are no "rules for civil Discourse" (here in america civil discourse is having conversations that are debating an issue or a behavior) we can gossip, confront, work out problems with each other directly, privately or publicly..
in Iran they do not have freedom of speech therefore their "rules of civil discourse" are much more limiting....women and children dont talk, discuss or debate. they are the property of their husbands. they must do and say only what their husbands deem acceptable for speech and behavior.
in some indian cultures it is the women that deem what it acceptable speech and behavior.
in a democratic nation the whole nation votes on whats acceptable and what isnt.
in a communist nation it is the government that dictates what is acceptable for debating/discussions...
the list can go on and on...if you google civil discourse you will get millions upon millions of ways in which different countries, loations, races, religions, cultures differ between their definition of whats civil discourse or not..
the same with bullying....what is one persons definition and standard for bullying is not for others...example in some locations it is acceptable to name call a person, in another location it is taught by schools, parents, the government, tribes to use name calling and what I here in america humiliation as a discipline so it is not considered against the rules of civil discourse....
my point is there is many different people here with different standards so the only way to make things right for a .....majority....of the members is if the owner of the website sets the rules of what is acceptable and what isnt.. then they and the deal with whether a reported member has broken the rules of the site.
and they offer a way for those that feel like they are being bullied to report the issue and prevent further problems by using the protection features of the site....
I deal with those that I feel may be perceived as offensive, triggering, or not following the rules of the site by reporting them and using the self protection method of placing that person on the ignore list if I need to that day.
some days I dont use the ignore list and other days I use it frequently. it all depends upon what I am able to handle that day..
my suggestion...if you feel someone is bullying others or yourself, report them and then use the ignore protection feature that this site has to help each of us to protect ourselves from triggering / offensive people, posts, issues..