Does anyone feel stupid, guilty and foolish after going out and doing things that were irrational in a manic state? I guess the answer would be yes for most of you..............

I am a stay at home mum and do a little bit of typing here and there for people - its isolating. I have an autistic son of 10 and a daughter of 13. A so want to get back into the workplace..................was feeling incredibly depressed beginning of last week, doc upped by anti d and then by Thursday was racing around town registering with employment agencies, looking for jobs in the papers, ringing up and sending my CV. I used to be good as a secretary and was a hard worker - but thing is I have registered for full time not part time work! What would I do for childcare for my son after school etc.? if I got childcare I would have to make absolutely sure it was the right person, pay them etc.

We are starting marriage counselling on Monday. I just can't seem to pace myself even being on Depakote and anti d - I am either UP or DOWN for well over a week, but I would say more down. Those two days of job hunting exhausted me..............I was soooo trying to slow myself down but it was incredibly hard..........now I feel stupid and foolish, although I havent shelved my plans.............something has to be workable!

Anyway, sorry for going on...........its good to just type it out..I would like to hear your stories too. Oh and I spend money when I havent got it.