The fact that you "love" him is totally irrelevant! The only thing that really should matter to you is how you are being treated. The fact that he is abusive to you should be enough to make you walk away from this man forever as he will never change.

This is where self-esteem and self love comes in. If you stay you are sending a message to your self that it is ok with you to be abused. This means you are trashing your self-esteem big time.

A first step in self love would be to end all contact with this man immediately. If that is hard for you to do then you need to seek out counseling to help you get out of the relationship.