So what's the elephant in the room? Would you ask her if she was cheating? I would frame it to say that it bothers me about you (her). It's not that she has to answer, it's that people are fallible, as tinyrabbit said, and I don't see that you're confronting her about it. Instead you're kinda mad she can't tell you where to meet someone?

And yes I faced a similar thing with my t. Having to talk about a very personal thing of his. But what a breakthru it led to. Life is messy. We're not comfortable with that! But it doesn't have to get KimYe messy.

ETA: oops just saw that you responded. Sorry for the doubl post.

ETA: so reading between the lines, she says you feel isolated because you can't meet anyone. And you're feeling isolated because she's not hearing you. And because you cant talk to her about this thing. I feel like you want to keep moving like nothing's wrong, and she has stopped dead and said not til you SAY IT. That's what I'm observing. I know it doesn't make logical sense! I'm being touchy feely. Or full of it, idk!

ETA: at the end of your post, you report telling your t no 3 times. Yes, it is important to be heard, but I have a bad habit of saying no to everyone. So now I will even stop and ask my t if I said no. Your t seems more assertive than mine in holding the line here. Mine would have given up already. So I think that proves who is more monkey-headed!