Hi,

I am new here. I was hoping to get some support from those that know what its like to suffer from depression. My family and friends (and I use that term loosely) do not understand clinical depression and they try to compare things they go through with what I am going through. It doesn't help. I feel alone and hurt by people in my life. I am an introvert and am shy and somewhat to myself. I can have conversation and be outgoing when I want to, but right now I have no interest in talking to people that cannot be supportive. I can't deal with them. I have isolated myself, cut people off. I don't answer the phone and I don't call people, I half answer my emails. Its because when I try to communicate with people and tell them what is going on or what I'm feeling, I don't get the response I'm looking for. Sometimes I don't get a response at all. Nobody knows what to say and they really don't want to hear my problems or know my pain because then they would maybe feel obligated to help in some way. So I am alone. Well, I do live with my longterm BF but that is a dead end relationship. He is not supportive and can't deal with me and my illness, I know he wants me out of his life but I guess he has a conscience and won't kick me out. I am not working due to my depression. I have been in a major depressive episode for over a year and just recently went to seek medicaid so I can get help. I am looking now for a Dr. who will take it. I don't feel like being here but I have tried to keep from taking my life because I know everyone else will have to deal with it for the rest of their lives. But I am miserable, I hate to wake up. Just looking for somebody who understands and won't judge me or think I'm crazy.

Thanks for listening.