What I meant was that men/women are, in the final accounting, attractive purely on the strength of the "life force" within them. If a person needs to fit a certain mold badly (be anything that he/she believes that he/she must be in order to be attractive), that means that there is insufficient life force in him/her, and that translates into lack of confidence, and lack of confidence is not sexy, in general. All of it is "in general" with lots of exceptions, and some people do find partners who lack confidence appealing, so I am not making any overarching statements, but, ***in general***, confidence is attractive and genuine confidence is incompatible with trying to be somebody you aren't.