for the past five years my dream has been to wake up on my birthday to find my house adapted to my needs so i could say good bye to sliding downstairs on my bum and having to drag myself up them backwards by pulling on the handrails everytine need the bathroom, well yet again my dream has not come true, ah well at leats i am alive even if i am not living but simply exhisting.
today i will be on my own again, no happy birthday wishes, no cake and candles, no presents to open, ah well at least i have my gerbils for company and a card from the charity volunteer for.
I will go to the cemetary later and place flowers on my partners grave, it is almost ten years since he passed away, feels like yesterday, i never thought i would get this far. ah well every day i live i am a day closer to being in his arms again.
life has thrown me many difficult times, from abuse to disability, but ah well i can look back on all i achieved, i had ten fantastic years with my partner, the best i could have wished for, ran my own buisness, travelled abroad and have not relied on my nightmare family for anything since i was a kid, so all in all life is a game of roundabouts, some times are great, some are not that good, but tomorrow is another day and there is always something to be grateful for because there are people who will not see the sun rise today or breathe the cool air tonight and for who there will be no tomorrow.